Within 24 hours

Within 24 hours I'll be sitting for a paper that I totally cannot focus,
and I'll be going back soon.
Last sem break, you all were waiting for me for dinner and with a table of food that totally suit my appetite.
Later,
I am still doubting am I have the chance to meet you.
I am not happy.
Smile on my face is just a fake...............
I couldn't focus.
I tried... I tried!.....  But I really can't....
I know I need to be strong but I am really mentally tired......
I control myself by not bursting out.
But right now I'm typing and dropping tears................
I have to face this cruel fact by myself.
I am being forced to be extra stronger.
I hope you can by my side right now even just listening to my difficulties.
At least someone to rely on.
I just don't want to interfere and create unnecessity worries for you.
Perhaps,
I can pass through by myself without relying on anyone.
Pray hard for everything.........