Who are you now?

The people who close to me lie to me. I don't know who are you anymore. I never expect you will do all this thing. Can I still put trust on you? You claim yourself mature and rational. You are not at all. You broke my heart. What can I do to help. I am angry on you but at the same time I feel you are very pity because you make your life even worse. I feel pathetic because you ruin yourself. Are you dare to share all this with your kids next time? I will scold you, shout at you but at the end I will still by your side because I know if given a choice you do not want it to happen. I am here, please talk to me :(