Determine?or determined?

I never realize it becomes so important to me until I lose it.
It has been quite a tough 2 weeks for me as I put a very high expectation on myself which others might not perceive the same as mine.
Within this 2 weeks, I tested my determination and ability. It's even lower than I thought. At such a moment, the only way to make myself recover from it is always self-motivation. The moment of give and take should occur constantly which I have to really learn about it.
During announcement, I knew the probability I am going to fail is high. I know that, I really know where I stand and there is not much surprise when result announced.
Everyone will approach you and tell you :" Don't give up, run for second round".
Thanks for supporting honestly, just at that moment the feeling is extremely complicated, don't wish to show any disappointment or sadness, keep for myself. I saw improvement on me that can control my emotion well at that moment. Everyone is hugging me, consoling me, where you are the one who actually only talks with me when we all dismissed. You didn't say much, you touched my hair and hug me tightly. I was about to cry when you was hugging and whispering to me (even I don't concentrate listening).
I believing in "when you fall, you know who is your friend".