Sem Break

This sem break doesn't make any happiness to me, more to restructure and replan my Life. It's really a matter of life. Finally I can access to internet, haha, a nice and comfortable place for surfing, undeniable.

Where to start, yes, planning to move but so much restrictions.
Something will just out of your ability to solve. When you are seeing others are putting so much of efforts to help where I am the one seems so useless, at that moment stop studying comes to my mind, but after calming down this idea is definitely is not a wise one.
I have been emitted into hospital due to virus infection, today just discharged and thank god I am fine now. The moment I was at emergency room I smelled the medicine, the sadness on patient and seriousness of doctors and nurses, it's not a nice feeling though.

I will remember this right now until forever : As long as you are still alive, life is still moving on.

Yes. It happened.

Right now what I can do is just pretending like I am really okay.
It might be my last blog before semester reopens, perhaps last blog.
It is a curse that every sem before last paper ends there will be something happen to interrupt my life.
Same to this time.
And the seriousness causes me last night really feel like jumping from the high building and just close up this 'file'. I know it is a STUPID action ever to choose to suicide. I won't be doing that. I just truly understand how one people's problem can affect the overall situation even affected the basic harmony.
You choose not to tell me because worrying I am still having my exam. Somehow, another people called me to let me know what's happening and the seriousness is already out of my control and ability to solve it. First come to my thought: 21 years of relation you just leave it like this.
I have no energy to cry anymore. I have to go back and settle down everything and pretend nothing is happening on me. I know I am the only support for you all.
I made a very tough decision for giving up my position and I have no choice until this decision made. I still have one more paper to go and right now be positive really doesn't work much anymore, it is just a guidance. The most important is come out with a solution that I probably.............ok............... Is very samfu for keeping myself in this way. Everything just comes to me and just be stronger and stronger. I have nothing much to say anymore.

Why is me...
I ever pray hard and never request much...
Now..
You leave me on the path alone and bear everything...

只是个仪式。

一大堆的问题还没有解决，我根本没有心情过年。现在过年对我而言，只不过是一个仪式。大一岁了，更需要懂事，更需要承担，更需要面对你往往意想不到的挫败。
这次的过年真的没期待什么。不奢望多红包，多外游，只祈求我心里最简单的愿望可以成真。
第一次那么的没有过年气氛。生活还是要过。反而更希望可以趁这个假期可以做工。赚钱。增值。

有我在

考试，真的没什么。
身旁接二连三的恶讯似乎提醒着我遗憾在召唤我了。
我现在的心情真的很复杂。咪，我们变得亲近了很多，什么事你都毫无隐藏的告诉我，我也愿意和你分担所有的担子。我很心痛你必须一个人去承担。就连弟弟也因为没有人可以顾而被逼上早上班和午班，你的开销又大了。我更心痛一个小孩有家归不得。daddy什么事都不顺，还需要承担那么重的担子，协调，做中间人20年，独自咽下泪水，我懂你流泪。你打给我，只是看见来电显示我的眼泪已经流了下来，你问我几时回家，我的心更是难受。你都不让我知道你面对了什么问题。我唯一能做的只有把家里婆媳关系慢慢协调。关系已经到了6个月没有讲话的地步，我何尝不想一家人像之前乐也融融，有谁会不想。
两个弟弟不懂事，自私，回到去我需要慢慢的开导。他们不再象之前会听我说，开始反抗，甚至不把我放在眼里。身为一个姐姐难道我放弃他们？？？？我。做不到。
我已经忘了真正开心的时光是几时了，那种感觉已经离我很遥远。
咪，其实每次你打电话给我，我真的很愿意听的。你总担心会影响我，会是会，可是我不听，你好有谁可以倾诉。我真的愿意听。在你面前我不会垮，我垮了，谁撑你。
每一次的通话我都是强忍着泪水因为我真的不想让你再多一份的担心，再苦我都会陪你走。

Social Media

Mr. Google, my best resource! =p

Tweet is nice for privacy!

Podio is nice for AIESEC work!

AIESEC mail always makes me exciting to check for it :p

Linked-In still very new for me ><

Hotmail is to connect with my aunt and some external events. Haha

New blogspot assigned by lecturer is another space! 

Facebook still the best la by the way! =)

Social media is needed all the time. Important.

这几天

最近发生的事真正是以后我需要考量的问题。
你们的成长我真的摆在心上。
你的一句：我在挣扎还要不要继续其实当下的我真的很心疼。我是真心想见证你的成长。开心的是之前的隔膜变少了，看见你把心里的话一点一点的拿出来，我懂你是个很有故事的人，我更加想看见你从过去走出来。真的。我会努力的去化解你心中那个黑影。你要相信我。PA 后更看清自己，我希望有人对我坦诚，批评我，观察我，让我看清自己的不足。我不需要你的赞美，我需要的是我的不足好让我越变越好。我懂如果现在我不接受，以后的我肯定很辛苦。抱着学习的心态去到哪里都没有问题。

病得像狗的我，身体状况变化无常。可以精神，可以半夜突然发烧。现在精神更是欠佳，考试了啦~拜脱 bear with me my body ><
这次的考试只可胜不可败！

聊了几个小时的，分享心得，交心。我真的很庆幸在大学生涯遇见了你。一个不只是吃喝玩乐的朋友，而是大家清楚大家的近况，互相鼓励，交换心得，一起成长。这是件多么难得的事。你真的很棒~是我人群里不一样的那个。从你口中听到我是你四个其中一个认识很庆幸认识的朋友我真的很感动，因为我们真的把彼此放进眼里。你的出现让我更明白很多时候女生也可以很棒。我们都很棒！交心让我们走得更远。
深思了，交心是很双方的。不要等待只有一方把心掏出来，不是靠嘴巴讲，不是靠信息说，是靠行动来维持。我相信不会有问题。
讨论到了某人，心痛的成份极多。人随着环境而变，人们常说。可是能在不同的环境以不同的角色待人其实才是应该的。你常以那个形式对我们真的，我们真的有心痛到。无论你扮演着什么角色，本质不变才是最重要的。
无论如何，看见大家在各自熟悉的地带奔驰，让我更明白过去的感动真的过去了。现在需要往前看！！！


今天曾经是个撕心裂肺的日子。奇怪的是心态不一样了。两天前罢了，你的女朋友加了我为朋友，还找我聊起了心事，谈了两个小时。你当初的选择是没有错的。她会是你生命中的另一半。真的很奇妙，三年里大家可以有那么大的变化，甚至成长了。要幸福要幸福。嘻嘻~

不出我所料，你留下了希望然后现在当作没一回事。一个小考验就看得出你是个怎样的人。庆幸的是看清了你一些。典型的现代男生。不是没遇到，更好的在前方=)