Current updates

It's 4th day of NatCon.
I have a lot of thoughts that wanted to type it out but I have really no extra time to do so.
I'm just taking 15minutes may be to just drop it here.
It was an eye opening conference for me.
The first day of the NatCon we were divided into groups.
We started discussion with different LC.
I am the only AIESECer from UUM.
We need to think of 3 issues that currently facing by AIESEC in Malaysia.
Everyone is throwing ideas and strategies.
Seriously a lot ideas just pop out from my mind but finally I dare not speak out.
Why?
Because they think even wider than me,
at that moment I just felt that I am a narrow-minded person.
I look thing too surface, never think even further and deeply.
I reflect to myself, actually what self-development that I have achieved actually?
It's just the first day but I can feel the stressfulness.
I am not taking it as a fun stuff.
When you're looking someone who actually can think broader than you,
I just can tell myself I am so far behind from everything.
I must find a solution for myself.
I will not let it continues to be happened.
Think out of the box, always question myself.
Questioning is the best way to develop, because of I will keep thinking.
I need to think more, is totally what I'm lacking of.

Today's AGM.
Supposingly I wouldn't have any feeling about it.
But when Howard says :"Officially signing of from MCVPICX"
What I can feel deeply is the hardship he has gone through with the MC team was so strong.
I am so touched of it.
Why? Why people just can do it, why not me?
Can I be the one that stand in front and inspired people?
What is success means to me?
It's typically a very subjective thinking.
I'm not emphasizing on number.
Success can be meant that the engagement with team?
Inspired even just ONE person?
It's all up to me to define it.
I define it as...???
I don't know.
After NatCon, actually is another pathway for staying or leaving.
I couldn't deny I really like AIESEC.
What it provides I am just like the way as I like it.
Why am I still being so demotivating it definitely not because of AIESEC but it's the linkage in own LC.
To be frank, I am insecure in this.
It's the fact, adaptation is what I can deal with it.
I really hope I can see the changes of mindset of a person.
Mindset determines where you go.

Just now that simple functional area discussion session actually did affected my mood.
I really admire of LC TU VPCR.
He has a mindset that keep questioning from his doubt and the question even more impactful from what I have learnt all the while.
He reminds me not to restricted myself.
He indirectly reminds me I am really have to reflect more than what I've expected.
I worried, anxious, uncertain and stress.

-It'll not be too late to change unless you're afraid to change-